I’m stealing this from a post Katie did a while ago about a girl who asked us what we’d regret if we died tomorrow. Our lists kind of overlap, so deal with me while I reference her post (or you could check it out yourself):
1. Love
I feel like I’ve missed out on this a lot, mostly because my personality makes it very hard for me to express love and similar feelings to the people whom I love. I feel like (especially with my parents) I find myself turning it into something I avoid because I can’t deal with that kind of strong emotion. Hate, loathing, and jealousy are so easy for me to cope with, but love is a hard one (maybe that says something about our culture or me in general). So I guess I regret not learning how to deal with the love both that I have and that people try to give me. That and I’ve never really had a romantic love in my life (-cough- never had a boyfriend -cough-)
2. Lust
“My apologies for the prudes out there. But it would be a shame to die without good sex.” – or any sex at all.
3. Travel
If I wasn’t hypothetically dead already, I would kill myself for never making it to Asia. It’s my dream; I want to see the world that I saw on the travel channel in reality. One trip to every continent (minus Antarctica) should do it.
4. Maturity
And I don’t mean that I haven’t grown up. I have. I’m just not done growing. I don’t want to die not knowing what I would have become, had I had time to develop. As my mom have said I’m not “finished blooming into a beautiful flower”.
5. Happiness:
That’s not to say I’m not happy right now (though finals are kind of sucking the happiness right out of my life), but I don’t feel that I’ve had a moment of absolute happiness in my life and that saddens me. My life has been good, but I can’t remember any time when I was purely happy. Maybe I’m looking for something that doesn’t exist, but I want it before I kick the bucket.
So these are things I want to do before I make my grand exit (and it will be grand). I don’t think they’re too unreasonable, but I do think they’ll take some time. I’m kind of glad that someone mentioned regret; it gave me plenty of time to get these things done.
Also, I just realized that my list makes me look a bit selfish (or totally selfish) and shallow…. I guess since I didn’t wish for world peace, I must not have the selflessness required to be Miss America or Mother Teresa. Is it bad that I’m totally okay with being a bad, selfish person?
Here’s how a selfish list woud go:
1. Money (Tons and tons of it)
2. No Strings-Attached Sex
3. Wild, unrestrained, unresponsible parties
4. Enough booze to melt all the neurons in my brain
5. Freedom from all of my responsibility to other people
I think it safe to say that you aren’t selfish.
(Oh and ditto on the happiness thing)
And I guess in close, in the words of Pace, “World peace would be boring”.